#life · moments

Broken hearted

I’m wasn’t okay for a while. I thought moving to a new town would solve the issue but it’s sad to know that it didn’t. I just met new issues and left the others unsolved. Am I more sad? (I’m not sure about this). Life has not become hard I just don’t know where to categorize it but however, what I know is that easy is not the word to describe it.
Am I in physical pain? No but I think emotional pain is worse. You go to bed so that you can rest but in real sense you don’t even rest you wake up more exhausted from all the thinking, I read somewhere that

A lot of people struggle with sleep

because sleep requires peace
and I can’t agree with it more. Was I in a fight or am I quarreling with someone, no? When someone is in physical pain they can just take some painkillers and numb the pain but how do I numb emotional pain. Where can I get the cure?
So everyone would think “maybe someone broke her heart and that’s why I’m speaking of emotional pain” but not really. How about me breaking my own heart? I’m stuck between a path that I’m sure I know where it will exactly lead, like a job that assures me salary at the end of the month, and venturing into a path that I have no idea where exactly it will lead, like quitting my job to start my own business. I’m not sure whether it will give me enough cash to pay my employees or even enough money to return the starting capital.

Yes my heart is breaking because I actually don’t know what to do. Did I get enough advice? Yes, from all the sources I could think of but here I am still stranded not sure whether to go to the right, left or nowhere at all. I kind of relate to what Rita Ora means when she says “it’s my head and my heart and I’m stuck in the middle”. Should I jump and find out how far down it is Or should I just keep doing what I’ve always done.

There’s this little excitement that comes with trying out things we don’t know about. We are not sure if it is extremely rough or just a little bumpy and we always restrain ourselves when we think about it. But no one learnt how to swim without drinking a little ocean water right?
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