life · moments

I’m my own hero

Today my country is celebrating all heroes who fought for this country. May all the ones who went ahead of us rest in peace and we’re proud of the ones who are with us. I’m not sure whether they are really proud of what the country has become or they are turning in their graves. I won’t go into detail about that I am not a politics fan in any sort of way. I want to celebrate myself cause I think I’m a hero in a way and keep rowing my boat every single day; I wake up and show up even when it’s not easy. I am hero because I refuse to stay down and I know I’m not alone.

This has been a long year I won’t say it was really easy or hard. It’s almost like I’ve been riding in between the highs and lows. At some point I find myself feeling like everything is just too much and that I can’t handle it all; I keep sinking; I feel like there’s no breakthrough; I take one step forward I move twenty steps behind and other days I feel so happy like I have everything (my whole life) figured out when I actually don’t. On these days, I simply don’t remember I even had a rough week or day or my things were just not going right and were falling apart. I have come to accept the fact that life is a mystery. We just don’t know where we will be the next day, even if we play all our cards rights, that’s the only way I can understand it.

So today I’m going to celebrate my achievements. I’m certainly not the richest woman in the world; I’ve not become a president but I’ve made a step from where I was last year or in the first half of the year. I was a wreck sometime during that first half but not most people wouldn’t have known because few people check on people. I’m grateful for the people who were for me.

  • That’s when I started my blog. Writing is like therapy to me. Like I said you’re assured someone is listening to you even though they’re not talking back. It was such a huge step because I learned to open up to the world even though not everyone has realized it yet. I’m sharing my experiences; I’m giving other people the ability to see the world from my point of view. The opening up is something big because my siblings actually believe I’m a closed book; you can’t really tell which page.
  • I’ve also grown. Physically not so much but I’ve grown emotionally and mentally. I’ve learnt to keep my emotions in check and see things differently. I know when to react to something; when not to. It’s a wise move but sometimes I just sometimes I make it rain knowingly. Even though I can’t explain how I’ve grown emotionally, I can feel it. I know we know what it feels like or someone has already been here. You just feel like there’s something different and you’re not where you were the previous day or month.
  • My mistakes. They can’t be such a bad thing because they have shaped me into the person I am today. Even though some lessons I learnt in tears, I’m actually still glad I did. It taught me how the world works what’s true and what is just gold plated and how to separate the cereal and the chaff.

So yes, feel free to celebrate your every step of the way because tomorrow you’ll achieve something bigger and you’ll feel what you have today is not worth celebrating but it’s actually the basis of the big you’ll celebrate tomorrow.

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