Hello darkness, My old friend

It’s windless night and a very gloomy sky. The stars are so dull as if they’re grieving a loss, the absence of the moon,the only thing that gives hopes during dark nights, makes it worse.

It’s the third month of the year and I am supposed to be celebrating my birthday. Am I looking forward to it? Not really. It’s my birthday month I am supposed to be excited about it but I’m not. A life was given to me and another was taken. I can’t really shake it off. birthdays are meant to be joyful occurrences but deaths on the other hand aren’t. Well if it was math, when you subtract one from one it would be a zero. So does that call for a celebration? I don’t think so.

I have always know this but I somehow manage to get through it every year. What’s different about today? A friend of mine lost a close friend and I felt like it’s happening to me all over again because I was in that situation too and it just happened to be on the third month so it’s like I’m feeling both losses at once. The thing I’ve realized is everyone else will move on with their life except you. Because with every person you meet in life, especially the ones who become close, you always share a piece of yourself with them and when they go it goes with them and the truth that no one else admits is: life will never be the same no matter how happy you become. The gap will never be filled. You just learn to make space for it in your life. On other days it weighs you down while on others you’re able to smile regardless of it’s weight.

Well today is one of those days and we will never say goodbye. Be sad on the worst days so that we rejoice about all the better days to come.


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