growing · Poetry

Growth

Once upon a time there was a sad little girl
who sat at the swings alone
waiting for someone to occupy the empty swing next to her
so they’d swing together
and she’d feel a little less lonely
once upon a time there was a hopeful little girl
who sat outside their house alone with an extra chair
hoping a friend would come and occupy it
so they’d play together
once upon a time there was a patient little girl
who carried an extra pen to school everyday
hoping someone would be in need of it
so she’d feel a little generous
once upon a time

she hoped and waited
hours became days
days months
and months years
she waited

finally
the swing was occupied but the occupant left before
she could even get over the feeling of waiting for years
the chair was occupied but the friend
was too busy trying to make other friends
that she forgot about her
she picked up her chair and sat alone again
she made a new friend and
her pen was finally borrowed
they wrote beautiful stories together
eventually the pens ran out
and that was the end of their friendship

she decided loneliness was hers to carry
she kept wishing she had had a set of extra pens
wishes, wishes
how i wish someone would have told her
to stop waiting
to stop putting the keys to her doors
in the pockets of people she’ll meet
and put them in her own
because then she would not have
wasted her time waiting
and her hope in people that might disappoint her again

I am however glad that
she eventually realized it
though in tears
and countless blames of  “not being good enough”
she did it
she took the first step alone
and the second
the feeling was indescribable
“being alone wasn’t so bad after all”,
she thought to herself

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