life · Poetry

heartbreak

a few days ago
i wanted to sit down and write about how unappreciated you were
not that i changed my mind, no
i still believe that
but today
today
i’m hurt
i’m hurt that
the one place that always felt warm
no matter how cold it got outside felt the coldest
not that it was chilly outside but it’s because
it’s because you were cold to me
i never thought that i’d ever experience this feeling again
but you stabbed me
or maybe i walked into the knife
because this time i saw the knife coming

so
i’m left wondering
did i do something wrong
or am i a victim of someone else’s doing?
too many
too many questions
what will i do now
what will i do now that the person who silenced my storms
is no longer my anchor?
that the person who made my tears go away just by the sound of their voice
is no longer available to talk to?
that the person who i could cry and laugh about my problems with
is no longer looking my way smiling?
what will i do now

how can i bear the heaviness in my heart
the heaviness i get whenever i look into your eyes and see nothing
when all i can remember is looking into them and see everything?
how will i talk when i just lost my voice
how will i fight when i’ve lost all my strength
how will i move forward when all my reasons to do so
are no longer existent
all this is too much
too much for my heart of glass to bear
all i’m asking is for you to care again

i thought i’d never have to feel this again
but like they said same story different title
but i’m glad though
that this time
i’ll know how to nurse the wound

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