life · Poetry

Perfect person

Working on assumptions sucks
you’re feeling this, tell me
you don’t feel this, tell me
you want this, tell me
you don’t want this, tell me
just tell me

it sucks
having to filter what to say and what not to say
it sucks
having to counter check every word in my head before it leaves my mouth
why can’t i just have a normal conversation
like friends have?
why can’t i crack jokes
why can’t you just let your guard down ?
you’re scared?
guess what ?
I am scared too
maybe more than you are
enough about you

lemme tell you what i want
i want
to laugh so hard that my ribs ache
to not constantly worry about the picture I’m painting
because I’m assured you’ll be okay with it
regardless of how it looks cause
it’s real
i wanna tell bad jokes and not be worried
because people do it all the time
i just want to be free

the funny bit is
I’m in no one’s prison but myself
i built a cage that I perfectly fit in
with every
this is what he would like
an extra brick was added
with every
i won’t do this because
i don’t want him to lose interest
or get the wrong picture
the higher the walls went
now here i am
in the prison of my own making
with his perfect person
no him
no idea how to bring the walls down
and free myself

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