growing · life · Poetry

Risky texts

There’s something different about today
Maybe I’m the only one
who’ll notice it
but it’s better than nothing
Today’s different
i don’t feel lost
broken or empty
am i happy
i don’t really know
but i feel just okay
i feel okay that
i don’t have everything i want
but I’m contented
i feel okay that i didn’t talk to you much today
but i don’t feel empty like i usually do
i feel just okay
I’ll let you in my head
and my heart
let’s face it
I’m scared though
more scared than you can imagine
is it because of rejection
no way
I’ve faced that countless times
i think I’ve become immune to it
I’m afraid
I’m afraid you’ll tell me I’m not ready
the line that bounces back and forth
my brain cells more times than
my memory can register
I’m not ready to be out there yet
but i still want you to know this though
will it lead to something
i do not know
but that’s the beauty of uncertainty
and last i checked you were a fan
I’m sure I’m letting out more than i should
you’re a puzzle
with pieces so many pieces
scattered in different dimensions
which is the most fascinating thing about you
I’d tell you made me love puzzles
but it would be a cliche
and I’d hate that
i don’t know if there’s a flow in this
but perfection is not my jam
so here i am
reaching out to you
by doing what i know how to do
would you give this a shot?

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