There are probably a million and one articles concerning: things I should have known before I was twenty or things I learned in my twenties. A lot of advice left and right. I’m not about going into that. To be honest, I’ve never sat down reading all of those; I won’t be telling you to do it either because although our experiences may be similar, they leave different marks and have different impacts or at times they may be completely different. I’ll share a few things I picked up along the way.
Peace over everything
Peace is something we take for granted, myself included until it packs up its bags and leaves. We never take time to appreciate how we thrive when everything inside us feels at ease; how positively we look at things; how we laugh heartily and genuinely; how we see days being brighter, the sky looking amazing and the sun shining differently. Ladies will even say
“you glow differently when you drink a lot of water and mind your business”
but it is because you feel contented and the environment around feels like a haven. So, whether or not you take a lot of water the glow will most definitely be there. As we grow, we realize that we seek to be at places where we feel safe and complete without our hearts aching and with people who make you smile and make every wrong in the world seem to be right. And when we are at places that feel like chaos, we want to move away from them. Most people term this as running away from your problems but when you look at it from another angle you see it as running towards your peace; the place that feels “safe”; calm; quiet. Always choose wherever your soul feels most alive.
We slowly let expectations go
It does not happen in a day but bit by bit you take back that tiny piece of your heart that you allocated to someone else and named it “what I think they should do for me”. You put that piece back to where it belongs and eventually your heart becomes whole again so that when chose to do something for you, becomes a bonus and when they don’t, you’ll still be okay with. Although it takes time and quite an amount of heartache and tears the final result is amazing.
Make others happy without compromising your happiness
“When you’re saying yes to others, ensure you’re not saying no to yourself”
Thinking completely about yourself and dismissing everyone else is selfish but you can think about yourself and at the same time think about others. While this is possible, we cannot always accomplish it and at this point, it is vital to tread carefully. You have to weigh your options, see whether the sacrifice is possible and if whatever you have to give up can be accomplished on a later day and if it cannot you have no option but to let it go or find an alternative source of help that can still get it done. That way everyone goes home happy or knowing that you tried but it just wasn’t possible.
You are allowed to be upset but you don’t have a right to be rude to someone else!
Things will get to us. Maybe, it was a project you were working on, on your computer, and the lights went out before you could save it or water poured on the assignment you are working on or even that you couldn’t agree on something with a friend or you started the day on the wrong foot. These are things we encounter on our day to day life, but they get us on edge and more often than not we channel out our anger on someone else, which is not right. No one is asking you not to feel your emotions but you don’t have a right to be a jerk to another person, they did not wrong you. So, put your anger aside, not if you have to when dealing with others.
Some things never change, but we learn how to live with them
Someone steps on your toe; a complicated relationship with someone dear to you; coming across something that will trigger an experience; people who will never see the good things you have accomplished. We learn to make space for occurrences and devise ways of dealing with them when they come up. Either that or let them steal our joy for several days in a week or months. They eventually become easy to deal with and get past as if they didn’t at one point feel like the weight of the entire world.
Love yourself enough to accomplish at least one step towards your dream
What is a way to show self-love more than accomplish little goals as you move towards the main one? Walk for ten minutes today; begin the project; learn something new; you want to travel the world start with the local park; accomplish a goal. Easier said than done. Today you’ll remember to do it, tomorrow you won’t have the motivation to do but maybe the day after that, you will and when you can pick up from where you left and it will become part of you, part of your routine and you will be doing it effortlessly.
The list of these lessons is endless because we’re still living and that simply means we will still discover something new but those are the few I wished to share.